It is important to recognize your priorities and requirements will change as your child grows, your parenting style matures, and your family changes (more children for example). Your child care preferences may also be affected as you gain experience in working with your nanny or babysitter. Regardless of the source or reason for change, you must take time to evaluate the significance of a new priority and incorporae it into your child’s care accordingly.
Open communication remains the key which enables you and your babysitter to adapt for these changes. Your regularly shceduled discussions are the best time to review issues and to make plans for addressing them. Sometimes, you may solicit input from your babysitter before making a decision on an issue. Other times, especially if it has a major affect on her, you may present your decision directly. To sum it up — in some instances you’ll welcome her input, while in others you won’t.
The different dimensions of your position — employer, parent and family member — often require different styles of communication. In every role you should always be direct and sensitive. Finally, nothing cana get too complicated as long as your top priority remains your child’s welfare.
As an employer, you will want to evaluate her performance and provide feedback to ensure she meets the job requirements. Consider an instance where you are very pleased with her work except she is regularly tardy. Your bes approach is to:
- Focus on the unacceptable behavior.
- Explain why it is unacceptiable and how it affects you or your child.
- Discuss how and when you expect it to be corrected.
As a parent you will tend to be vulnerable to those issues which are emotional or subjective rather than objective. These can range from minor things (you don’t like the way she brushes his hair) to more important things (she is enforcing too many ‘time-outs’). You may find that her ideas on thoese issues differe from yours. You may change your mind as a result of her insights.
The last dimension of your role has to do with your babysitter as a family member. A babysitter will integrate with different families to different degrees.Whether you get very close or remain more distant, the mere fact that she is in your house everyday, all day long, can create opportunities for difficulty in your relationship.
The most common problem occurs when parents feel that their nanny or babysitter is overstepping her bounds or taking advantage of her role. It can be small annoyances or large impositions; and it may or may not have anythng to do with your child. It’s the same phenomenon that occurs with visiting relatives who you may love dearly, but who can out stay their welcome.
If you become uncomfortable with her in this manner, deal wit it directly and quickly. As always, it’s best to address her behavior rather than her personally, and avoid making judgments. You are entitled to your unique family preferences but that doesn’t mean you are right and she is wrong. Respect for her as a person with genuine feelings and perferences, combined with common courtesy, will also help get these issues resolved with a minimum of hurt feelings.
The ideal way to maintain quality child care in your home is to find a babysitter who truly loves children and her job. Your full involvement and commitment in hiring and working with your nanny will encourage a loving relationship between her and your child and promote a positive work experience for her.